It gets harder and harder ...

I have always wanted a great relationship with my daughters.  I had always envisioned us sitting around and talking about this that or the other and how they would come to me about everything.  Thats now how it happened though.  It took a little while for my oldest to come around.  Her and I have a pretty great relationship and she is really awesome.  I am so very proud of her.  My son even comes to me and talks to me about everything and he is absolutely amazing.  My middle daughter however ... well I don't even know what to say about her.  I love her.  I love her with all my heart but she is making terrible choices in life and she doesnt want to listen to me or anyone for that matter. Sometimes I wonder if I hate her.  I know that she is my own blood and how could I possibly hate her but sometimes I wonder.  She is so mean to me.  She is rude and she causes such an uproar in the house.  She has no filter on her mouth no matter where we're at and at times its embarrassing because I'm just not sure what to do with her.  I've done everything.  I'm truly by every definition of the word exhausted.  I don't even know what to write today except that I just want what is best for her and I hope she gets a million gold roses in life ... but she needs to earn them and shes not going down that path.  shes not earning much of anything.