Is it terrible to even think of hating one of your own ...

I never in a million years ever thought that I could hate my own child.  I still don't think I hate her, I love her so much but I am just drained.   I am drained emotionally, physically and mentally ... but this is what she thrives on.  She wants me to be drained so that I give up and just give in.  I try to be a little lenient but then I try to be strict because it is MY job to make sure my children succeed and do well in life.  I can only do so much but I am taking the job description pretty serious.  She wants so many positive things for her future and they all are pretty realistic but the things that she does now is leading her on the wrong path ... I try to tell her this.  And those who know me, know that I don't sugar coat much but she doesn't get it.  I have drug tested her (and no she didn't pass) but she didn't care.  She passes the buck on to anyone else around her but yet we all know that she is the one responsible.  She can be holding something that she stole but yet look you dead in the eye and tell you that she didn't do it and she just doesn't know who did.  She will even carry on for another hour or so just WONDERING who in the world took that!  "Mom, if I'm getting blamed for something that I didn't do, I want to know who did" ... then about 2 hours later she admits to her wrongdoing.  I have tried everything.  I have tried every single form of punishment there was.  You name it and I have done it.  I have whooped her, I have grounded her, I have made her do extra chores, I have taken her door from her hinges, I have given her earlier curfews ... I have nothing left in me.  She doesnt want to be at home although she says she does.  I had to file unruliness charges against her but she doesn't care about that either.  We're waiting on a court date and I am honestly hoping that she goes to juvi.  Just to show her a lesson because none of mine work.  I have read books ... I have read internet site ... I have done all that I can possibly do ... and if someones says well you're not doing this, then I will!!! ... I have listened to sermons .. I have prayed to God ... I have just collapsed in exhaustion onto my bed hoping that someone would just come and whisk me away to get rid of the noise.  I just want her to be okay .. I want her to be a teenager but not a reckless one ... I have three children and two of them I know will succeed ... this one I am scared for.  I am very scared for.